The longest hours

by on August 14, 2013

Time in the NICU is a surreal thing. It literally creeps. Then you realize that you’ve forgotten to eat lunch and it is 7pm.

But it was never as agonizing as in those two days. We knew the results would determine the colour of the days ahead. And I silently acknowledged that they might determine whether we ever took Audrey home.

So, on December 1st, just over a week after we had become a family,we approached Audrey’s bedside to learn her fate.

Negative. Negative. She did not have an infection.

It seemed that the lethargy and the increasing spells were due to Audrey getting tired from the effort to breathe. So they were going to leave her on the ventilator for a while.

Sometimes a day in the NICU goes really well.

That same day, I was finally released from hospital. Dr. G., who was off for the day, called in to arrange it. It was sad to leave without Audrey, but unlike many preemie moms, I had plenty of time to mentally prepare. I was mostly relieved that I was going to be able to control my own schedule. No more waiting around to be seen by a doctor, or lying in a bed to keep my blood pressure down. I could sit by Audrey’s side all day.

{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

Satwindersingh March 14, 2014 at 7:20 am

Thank you for sharing. No mttaer how long ago the preterm birth, I feel, we,as moms who lived the experience will never forget those raw emotions, nor forget the scenes, scents or sounds of those trying times. The first time I spoke publicly about our 27 weeker twins was on live television for 15 minutes, while holding one and a friend holding the other. I got choked up a couple of times, but those in the studio were so warm and real, I got over it quickly. Love your blogs. Thanks again for sharing.

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